New Ending for "Happiness"

For me, the way Happiness would end would be quite different than the way the actual book ended:

Edwin would be contacted by "Tupak Soiree" via fax, and be told to meet at a park near Panderic. When they both scheduled a time that works for both of them, they met and Edwin walked up to a man with glasses and a casual hat drinking a water. Nigel turns to look at Edwin and says something to the extent of 'guess who' or something that implies that Edwin was shocked; which he was. They sit down on a park bench for several hours and Nigel explains to him what all happened and how he pulled it off. He said that the man who answered the phone calls at Paradise Flats was a cousin of his that happened to be crazy so he really thought there was a man named Tupak Soiree. He convinced him that a man came in and out of the desert and meditated for 18 hours a day.

Nigel also explained that the man who was on Oprah was a random man from the Philipeens. He said that he didn't even know his real name, he just saw him walking down the street and asked if he wanted to make easy money. He had him read the book and study it over and over. Nigel laughed and said that every slip up that the random man made, like saying he loves watching Oprah even though he was meditating, Nigel fined him a thousand dollars.

Towards the end of the conversation, Nigel gets a phone call and he says to the person on the other line, "yes, now is a good time. Come here." No more than two seconds later, May steps out from behing a big oak tree and gives Nigel a big kiss on the lips. She is wearing her lipstick again and it is becasue she says that now she feels wanted and loved by Nigel, something she never got from Edwin. She says that they have been seeing each other for a couple monthes now and shows him a big diamond that must have cost a couple of slots on Oprah's show. She says that they are so in love, but Edwin thinks that their love is as real as the Crayola lipstick she is wearing right now.

Other topics that were discussed on that park bench were Jenni, Rory the Janitor/Millionaire, and money. It turns out that because Nigel never like Edwin, he clearly didn't like Jenni even though he had never met her. They did talk via fax, and Nigel sent her off to somewhere in Montana. They don't know, or care frankly, what she is doing now. Nigel said that Rory was completely random and not planned. He knew that once Rory turned into a multi-millionaire and quit his job that the book would be a hit. So Nigel was happy that it happened and it was very reassuring for him. Lastly, Edwin pleaded his case for why he needed and deserved some money out of the deal. He said that Jenni stole all of it and he had nothing to do. He quit his job at Panderic and had no plans for the future.

Nigel's solution to this was for Edwin to publish one last book written by Tupak Soiree. It will be called "What Really Happened on the Mountain." The book would explain to the world that all this was not real and they all fell for it. Tupak (the Philipino character) would be murdered by hitman that Nigel and Edwin would hire, and everything would slowly, but surely, get back to normal. The books ends with Edwin and Nigel being friends and successful business partners.